MARKOS ARRIVES IN MYSTIC FALLS — In order to keep Stefan from being harmed by Sloan and the Travelers, Caroline and Enzo agree to make a trip to Atlanta to find a newly discovered doppelgänger. Caroline is surprised when Enzo opens up to her about his past. Damon and Elena spend an awkward afternoon at Jeremy’s parent-teacher conference, where they hear bad news about his behavior at school. Afterwards, Damon reluctantly tells Elena upsetting news about Jeremy's personal life. Bonnie has an unsettling encounter with Luke, and learns more about his family history. Liv fills Jeremy in on the rumors about The Travelers’ next move and demonstrates her considerable power. Jeremy makes an unexpected deal with Liv, then makes a decision that is devastating to Elena. Stefan and Caroline share a special moment of friendship. Finally, a terrifying turn of events at the Travelers’ camp leads to the appearance of their mysterious leader, Markos. Matt and Tyler also appear.
The episode begins with a vision of Stefan Salvatore's last doppelgänger who is rushing an injured woman seemingly into a hospital. The doppelgänger asks the woman what her name is, but she is too injured and her mouth is being covered by an oxygen mask so she cannot answer. Trying to reassure the woman, he tells her she has a good grip and he tells her that his name is Tom and she is going to be alright. The scene cuts and it is shown that the scene was actually a vision that was being seen by the Traveler Sloan, who is casting a spell to link Stefan to Tom to be able to find his whereabouts. Sloan says that she saw enough to know that his name is Tom. The visions continue and Tom asks his doctor colleagues to give him a pneumothorax and a 10 gauge needle. One of the other doctors says that he'll take it from there, but Tom tells him that she won't make it to the operation table if he doesn't give it to her, he then injects the woman. The vision splits back to Sloan bewitching Stefan and she tells Stefan to help her find Tom and tell her what he sees. The scene goes back to the hospital in Tom's mind where one of the other doctors mildly scold Tom for being a "piece of work". Stefan snaps back to Mystic Falls and tells Sloan that the doppelgänger is at the Atlanta Metropolitan Hospital. Sloan thanks him and says that now his friends can find and kill him.
Elsewhere, Elena wakes up in bed next to Damon and she sees that it is 12:00 pm and it her scheduled time for her to meet up with her brother Jeremy's parent-teacher conference. She walks out of bed and she tries to leave but is started by a suddenly awake Damon who greets her with a "Good morning, sunshine!" and Elena startled asks if she woke him to which he answers that he's been awake for three hours. Elena asks him why he didn't say anything and he reverses the same question to her and she says she did not really have much to say and nothing's changed and they are still broken up and the night of passion they'd shared was a mistake. Damon then sarcastically says that maybe they should continue to make "mistakes" — big ones. Elena is then motivated to leave, but Damon steps in her way and she tells him to put some clothes on or at least get out of her way. Damon tells her that it is her loss and Elena manages to leave.
In Atlanta, Caroline Forbes is seated across Lorenzo and Caroline receives a phone call and Enzo takes it from her quickly, answering it. Enzo answers, "Atlanta assassination squad. How may we be of service?" and Sloan — who is on the other side of the phone — asks if they have found the doppelgänger yet and Enzo tells her that she told them to find a nameless paramedic at the scene of a car accident in a city of freeways, fried green tomatoes and terrible drivers. It is not exactly as easy as it sounds. Sloan tells Enzo that that is why she is calling, she tells them that his name is Tom Avery and she just saw him deliver a patient at the Atlanta Metropolitan Hospital. Caroline overhears and asks if Sloan said she saw him and snatches the phone, Caroline angrily demands if Sloan has been linking Stefan to Tom — which burns Stefan's conscious mind, having a possibility of him losing all his memories — and she reminds the Traveler that they had a deal, that Caroline would find Stefan's last living doppelgänger and she would "take care" of Tom in exchange that Sloan and the other Travelers stop burning Stefan's conscious mind. Sloan answers that she doesn't give a damn about Stefan's brain, it is his blood that matters, she watches as the other Travelers carry a unconscious Stefan out of the room on a makeshift gurney. Sloan continues to tell Caroline that until Stefan and Elena are the last living doppelgängers on Earth, their blood is useless to her and she threatens Stefan if Caroline fails. Caroline counters this by saying that she doesn't fail at things and should Sloan do it — the linking spell that burns Stefan's mind — again, Caroline vows to kill her too and she hangs up and Enzo looks at her amused.
At the Mystic Grill, Damon gulping down shots of alcohol with the audience of Matt and Tyler. Tyler comments that that is the breakfast of champions and Matt guesses this alcohol ingestion is because of something with Elena. And Damon comments, "You know, that is so incredibly insightful, Donovan. You're really street smart, for someone working behind that bar, for what is it, 3 years now?" and Tyler defends Matt by saying that at least Matt isn't looking for answers at the bottom of a glass. And Matt asks why he doesn't just talk to Stefan and Damon answers that it is difficult to tell your little brother that you broke up with the former love of his life and then "broke the bed" — as a reference to the night of sexual passion Damon had shared with Elena the night before and Tyler feels awkward at this and says, "whoa, TMI (Too much Info.)" . Damon says that the two boys are Mystic Falls amateur therapists and Matt says that he's only here because he's getting paid and Damon pulls one of the bills on the bar away and tells Matt that less and less by the second, then he explains that he can't talk to Stefan even if he wanted to because he's off doing some "research project" with Caroline and then he sarcastically tells Tyler — referencing him as "wolf boy" — that he's sure they're just friends before the witch Liv Parker walks into the bar. Liv walks up to the bar, putting a bill on the bar and ordering a bottle of gin and telling Matt that she wants to see him break the seal. They all look at her in surprise and she tells them that she has trust issues. Damon offers her a chair and someone to talk to about those issues, but Liv refuses and tells him that she will never, ever, before she walks away, sitting in one of the other chairs in the bar. Damon tells the two boys that he has to go, but he doesn't do so before seeing Jeremy walk into the bar and sitting across Liv.
Elsewhere, Elena is at Mystic Falls High and she is in a line which leads to the guidance counselor. She on the phone with her best friend Bonnie Bennett, after greetings, Bonnie asks what's the friend emergency, Elena answers that she and Damon broke up. Bonnie is confused and asks when it happened and Elena tells her that it happened the night before. Bonnie is further confused because Elena hadn't returned home that night and Elena whispers that that is because she slept with him and Bonnie is surprised and lost. Elena asks if that was irresponsible and Bonnie answers that it probably was and Bonnie asks if Jeremy knows that they "definitely, maybe broke up?". Elena says no and is thankful that he wasn't at the house the night before. Bonnie says that is weird because he hadn't said anything to her and if he wasn't home then where was he? Elena says she doesn't know, adding to her irresponsibility day. Elena waits for Bonnie to answer, when she doesn't, Elena calls her name and Bonnie says "Sorry, Katherine's cute BFF just showed up." Elena thinks his name is Luke and Bonnie says she has an idea, since Damon and Elena are officially over . . . but Elena tells her that nice try, but she thinks Damon is more his type — given the fact that Luke is gay and Bonnie jokes that the two — Damon and Luke — would be cute together and Elena laughs, she realizes that it is her go to the guidance counselor and bids Bonnie goodbye. Elena and the guidance counselor — Mrs Douglas — greet each other and the counselor tells her it is good to see her even though she isn't on the list as Jeremy's primary contact and Damon arrives, "Damon Salvatore, present!"
Back in Atlanta, Caroline and Enzo have made their way to the hospital and don't find anything useful, so they compel the receptionist to call someone who does know something. They sit and Lorenzo studies Caroline until she takes up a magazine and pages through, Enzo can't tell if she's avoiding him or the mission and Caroline asks why it can't be both and Enzo says that he's earned the company after hand-delivering the antidote that would stop Elena and Damon from consuming each other, literally, Caroline answers that that doesn't mean she trusts him and why is he even there? Lorenzo jokes that Damon's trying to be a good boy nowadays and he needs a new murdering budding and earns a look from Caroline and he tells her that it was a British joke. Caroline begs God to not her be the reason why he's there and Enzo says why not, from what Damon's told him, she's his type; well-traveled, charming accent, dodgy morals and Caroline tells him that he can't take a hint. Enzo reveals that she reminds him of an Augustine member he used to know and Caroline corrects him and assumes that the girl tortured him and he answers that the girl — Maggie — was only there to observe him and his behavior in captivity and she reminded him that he was good all along. Caroline seems impacted by this, but before she can comment, a doctor walks up to him and asks if they wanted to know about Tom Avery. Caroline tells him that they need to find him as a matter of life and death and the doctor says he wishes he could help, but Tom was a "pain in his ass," but he was also the best paramedic he'd ever met. They ask what he means by was and the doctor tells them that Tom's been missing for four months and no one knows where he is.
In the Traveler Camp, Stefan regains consciousness and he asks Sloan why they've moved, given the fact that they are in a junkyard somewhere in Mystic Falls. Sloan would rather be at a beach, but she and the rest of the Travelers are supposed meet their "fearless" leader there. Stefan remembers Sloan mentioning him as Markos and he asks what he wants with his blood. Before the Traveler can answer, the phone rings and she tells the person calling — Caroline — that she hopes that Tom is dead and Caroline says, "Your stupid doppel-visions gave us bad information. Put Stefan on the phone." Sloan puts the phone on speaker and Caroline tells them that Tom's been missing for four months and is there anything, any small details that might help them find him. Stefan doesn't remember anything from the link and Sloan says if they saw old memories then they need to go deeper into his consciousness. Caroline says no, if Stefan is blacking out then it means the link is destroying his memories. Despite Caroline's warnings, Sloan goes deeper into Stefan's mind and Caroline is panicked by the sound of Stefan's screams. Through the visions, they see a memory Tom has about a girl in the hospital parking lot. The woman tells Tom that she is a friend of Trish — the woman whom Tom was operating on earlier — and her name is Hazel and she shyly asks Tom if she can buy him dinner to thank him for saving Trish's life and Tom accepts and tells her what time he'll pick her up. Hazel tells him the address where he's to pick her up and they snap back to the present. Stefan tells Caroline the address from the vision but also warns her not to kill Tom because he seems like a good person.
At the school, Damon and Elena have an awkward conversation about their relationship and Damon tells Elena that she's still thinking about the morning and night they spent. Elena changes the subject and Damon asks her how she would feel if her brother was running off and dating some other girl and he explains that he saw Liv and Jeremy sharing a bottle, much to Elena's surprise. Elena comments that Jeremy would never do that and that he's not a cheater. The guidance counselor tells them that Jeremy's been caught cheating twice, which brings Elena's confidence at her brother's faithfulness down. Elena promises to be better after for her daughter the guidance counselor tells them that the issues root at home. In Atlanta, Caroline and Enzo find the address and the woman — Hazel. When they open the front door, they try to enter, but Hazel stands there in a trance and they realize that they can't walk in as they are uninvited vampires. Enzo sees that she is a witch and kills her by throwing a stone through the house which penetrates the witch's head, killing her.
Back at Whitmore College, Bonnie is seated on a chair in the library and she watches Luke Parker from the corner of her eye and she finally approaches him and asks if she can help him and he says unless she's an expert on wave mechanics. Hazel's spirit then appears and she tells Bonnie that she's dead and that Bonnie must tell Luke that she failed, that she was trying to hide the doppelgänger with magic, but they found them. Bonnie doesn't know what she is talking about or who she is, Hazel tells her her name and then touches her, crossing over to the Other Side as Bonnie feels the pain of her death. Luke asks Bonnie if she is okay and Bonnie tells him of Hazel.
At the Mystic Grill, Jeremy is still seated with Liv. Liv does a silencing spell to keep the hybrid from overhearing anything they say. When Matt asks Tyler to try and hear what they — Liv and Jeremy — saying, he cannot hear anything but static as a result of Liv's magic spell, the two continue to talk. Liv tells Jeremy that she needs his help because his a Hunter, that means he can't be mind-controlled by Travelers (such as Sloan) and that makes him the only person she can trust. She tells him that there's been rumors going around in witch circles that the Travelers are up to something big. Jeremy asks if Travelers aren't witches and Liv refuses, commenting that they are more like the ugly stepsister and that "travelers have a grudge toward anyone that draws their magic from nature. Something about witches cursing the land to turn it against them. Now they're on the move. Next stop, here." She tells Jeremy that he needs to help her find out what they want with the blood of Elena and Stefan, who are Petrova and Salvatore doppelgängers. Liv gets a text from her brother Luke telling her that Hazel is dead and she gets up to leave, but not before Tyler confronts her and calls her newbie witch and she throws him across the room telekinetically and telling him that she is not a "newbie witch".
Back in Atlanta, Caroline and Enzo find Tom Avery and discover that Hazel was actually the witch keeping Tom in a coma and hiding him from civilization for four months – which is how long Silas’s been dead. Caroline awakes Tom and seemingly wants to kill him, but instead, she snaps Enzo’s neck and she tells Tom that she’s hear to save him. Back at Whitmore, Bonnie’s just discovered that Luke and Liv are twins and that Luke is also a witch. Luke begs her not to be mad at Liv before Bonnie’s cellphone rings – it is Jeremy and he wants to know where Elena is, to which she answers the school, when the phone call ends, she looks back at Luke only to find that he’s gone. Elsewhere, Elena fantasy's having sex with Damon in a classroom. Damon shakes her and gives is-everything-okay look. Elena awkwardly says that she needs some air and leaves the room and goes to the wood shop only to be met by Liv, who flings Elena to the wall telekinetically. Liv apologizes and says that her coven did everything in its power to protect her, but she’s too dangerous now. Liv keeps Elena on the wall and she can’t move. Elena doesn't know what Liv is talking about and Liv comments that she never will before lunging at the doppelgänger with a stake, only to be knocked out by Damon, who throws her across the room.
Back in Atlanta, Caroline is at a diner with Tom Avery and she explains to him that the witch – Hazel – kidnapped him. Caroline sees that Tom’s a good guy and can’t kill him, she tells him that he’s one of the nicest people she’s ever met after further questioning him and compels him to leave town on a train and find himself a place he likes, meet a pretty girl, settle down and be happy for the rest of his long, long life. Back in Mystic Falls, Damon warns a now tied up and gagged Liv to not mutter any “hocus pocus” or he’ll kill her himself. He unties her, but she still doesn't talk, so he starts to torture her and Elena tells him to stop, to which Damon says that she can’t tell what to do now that they’re broken and Elena angrily says that that is exactly the reason why they broke up and Liv – feeling awkward – says they should just kill her already, Damon tells her that he won’t, not until she talks. Liv answers that after tonight, there might only be one male doppelgänger. And if that happens, the Travelers will come for Elena to use her. The witches can't let that happen. This leads to another argument between the ex-couple and are only stopped by an intervening Jeremy. Outside the school, Luke arrives, but before he can enter, he is blocked by Matt and Tyler, but before he can use magic to get them out of his way, Tyler stops him and tells him that Liv already showed them that trick.
Back inside the school, Jeremy tells Elena that they can’t kill Liv and that she won’t do anything to hurt Elena, he promises not to let anything happen to her and to just Liv go and he’ll take care it. Elena says she can’t trust him after everything he’s been pulling at school. Jeremy passionately answers, “How can you expect me to care about school, when this is my life? I mean, take a look around, it's not like I can bring my teachers a note, saying "Sorry I missed class today. We were under doppelgänger invasion." But I know what I'm doing. Please. Liv knows more about the Travelers than she's letting on.” Elena decides to trust her brother and leaves with Damon, leaving Jeremy and Liv behind. Later, Jeremy and Liv meet Luke. Liv scolds Luke for not coming sooner. Jeremy then tells then that they’re going to protect Elena and he’s going to help them stop the Travelers and Liv backs him up and tells her twin that he could help them, given the fact that he’s got Hunters’ skills that’ll help him see the Travelers faster than they can and Jeremy says that he’s going to need some help and Tyler and Matt appear, telling the Travelers that the two are also part of the deal, take it or leave it.
Back in Atlanta, Caroline takes Tom to an underground parking lot and Tom comments that he doesn't think he’s ever eaten that much ever in his life and Caroline says she thinks that she doesn't think anyone has. Enzo appears and tells him that it was a fitting last supper and kills Tom against Caroline’s wishes to get him a normal life. Caroline is angry with Enzo and she asks him why he did that and he answers that she isn't the only one who is getting something out of killing Tom, but the Travelers told him that they’d help him find Maggie if he helped them. Caroline tells him if she is anything like Caroline, then she’ll never forgive him. And Enzo answers, “No. I'll earn her forgiveness in time. Because unlike you, Caroline, I'm willing to do whatever it takes for the people I love. The Travelers moved to some junk yard outside Mystic Falls. Feel free to tell Stefan you're the one who saved his life.” As Enzo leaves, Caroline takes one last look at Tom's corpse. His eyes are opened in a perpetual state of shock.
At the Salvatore Boarding House, Elena tells Damon that the two of them aren't bad for each other, but they’re bad for Jeremy. Damon answers that Jeremy’s whole life is bad for Jeremy and if they want to fix him, they should put him on a plane and get him out of town. Jeremy comes into the room with bags and Damon asks where he’s going and answers that Matt and Tyler said he could stay at their place for a little while. Elena refuses and Damon tells him to put the bags down and they’ll talk about it tomorrow. Jeremy rejects and tells them that this is what’s best for him and what’s best for everyone and Elena tells Jeremy that she’ll call him every day and she’ll be more involved now on and the two hug before he leaves. At the Traveler Camp, Caroline tells Stefan that Enzo killed Tom and she asks if he knew all along that she couldn't do it. Stefan answers that not that she couldn't, but that she wouldn't, because that’s what makes her her. The two then lay there and snuggle.
At the Salvatore Mansion, Elena packs her bags and tells Damon she’s going back to Whitmore and that she isn't leaving because of Jeremy and that it’s about them, it is not just that they are bad for each other, it is because they do bad things for each other and she can’t live like that. She puts down his offer to drive her to the campus and tells him that if they do that they’ll end up back where they started and that is why she needs him to let her go. Damon reluctantly kisses her on her forehead instead of kissing her on the lips and he finally lets her go, possibly fulfilling the will of the Universe: Elena and Stefan are meant to be.
Back at the Traveler Camp, Caroline and Stefan are sleeping and they wake as they hear the Travelers chanting and walk out to investigate. They see the Travelers from a hiding spot and watch as they pass a bowl full of blood around the circle of fire, each of them drinking what Stefan realizes to be his and Elena’s blood. Sloan sticks a torch in the flames and then sets one Traveler on fire. Suddenly, they all go up in flames – at this, Stefan sees a chance to escape and he tells Caroline to take his hand and the two speed off with vampiric speeds.
At Whitmore, the dead Travelers gather around Bonnie in her dorm room and they chant as they touch her arm to pass through her to get to the supernatural afterlife called the Other Side. After they pass through her, Bonnie is overwhelmed by the pain of the Travelers’ death and collapses, as she does, a shadow shapes leaves her body and materializes in a handsome man, who then walks out of the room.
- Antagonists: Markos, Sloan and Liv.
- This is the last episode before another three week long break. It is the first time in the show's run that no more than two or three episodes have aired back-to-back during the second half of the season.
- This is the second time that TVD has gone to Atlanta, GA (where the series is filmed) since Season One's Bloodlines, when Damon and Elena had their first road trip together.
- Caroline and Enzo go on their own first road trip in this episode.
- This is the third time that Mystic Falls High School has been featured this season.
- Liv tries to kill Elena in this episode, as the Traveler's need both a female and male doppelgänger for their plans-- if Elena were to die, the Travelers would have nothing. Liv informs Elena that she was originally sent to protect her from the Travelers, but was willing to kill her, if necessary, to stop the Travelers from successfully completing their mission.
- However, Elena was saved from dying by Damon at the last moment.
- Elena and Stefan are the last living (undead) doppelgängers, as Tom Avery was killed in this episode. This also confirms that any other doppelgängers with previously unknown status (such as Tatia) are also deceased.
- This episode confirms that it has been four months since Silas's death in Death and the Maiden, this means that the episodes Dead Man on Campus through this episode takes place between December 2011 to at least late March or early April 2012 in the series' timeline.
- Since the previous episode While You Were Sleeping takes place during spring break, and this episode is the following day, it means that Elena, Caroline and Bonnie's freshman year at Whitmore College is almost over, as most American colleges/universities end their school year in April or May, as opposed to K-12 schools, who often start their summer breaks in late May to early-mid June.
- This is the fifth episode this season to have all eight main cast members present.
- Tom Avery - Broken neck; killed by Enzo.
- Hazel - Fatal blunt force trauma to the head from a thrown doorknob; killed by Enzo.
- Numerous unnamed Travelers - Suicide; sacrificed themselves to bring Markos back to life.
- This episode marks the first appearance of Markos, this season's primary antagonist and leader of the Travelers.
- This episode marks the 90th appearance of Caroline, and the 80th appearance of Bonnie in the series.
- Tyler was last seen in Gone Girl.
- Anna is mentioned in this episode; she was last seen in Ghost World.
- Silas is mentioned in this episode, he was killed by Stefan in Death and the Maiden.
- All of the main characters were present in this episode.
Behind the Scenes
- This episode had about 1.73 million viewers in USA, which was 0.55 million less than the previous episode.
- Rescue Me is an American comedy-drama television series that premiered on the FX Network on the 21st of July, 2004 and concluded on the 7th of September, 2011. The series focuses on the professional and personal lives of a group of New York City firefighters working in a fictitious Harlem firehouse, post 9/11. The protagonist and focal point of the series is veteran New York City Firefighter Tommy Gavin (Denis Leary). The series follows Tommy's troubled family and co-workers as they deal with real life issues, either with post 9/11 trauma or their own domestic problems. Tommy struggles with the loss of his cousin and best friend Jimmy Keefe, as well as fifty-nine other firefighters whom he knew, who died in the World Trade Center on the 21st of September, 2001.
- Rescue Me may also refer to the Rhythm and Blues song by Fontella Bass which has been covered by many performers.
- Rescue Me is also the name of songs by the following artists: Madonna, Daughtry and You Me at Six.
- Rescue Me was also the name of the final episode of season 3 of the TV series Cheers.
- Liv: "The Travelers are up to something big."
- Sloan: "Tell me where to find your doppelgänger!"
- Elena: "Last night was a mistake."
- Damon: "Maybe we should keep making mistakes."
- Liv: "Elena Gilbert?"
- Damon: "It's very difficult to explain to your brother that you just broke up with the former love of his life and then broke the bed."
- Damon : "All I know is I wanna rip your clothes off right here in the middle of this hall, throw you in one of these rooms, and kiss every square inch of your body."
- Elena : "You and I, we're messy and complicated. That's why I need you to let me go."
- Caroline : "We had a deal-- I find Stefan's last living doppelgänger, and in return, you stop using Stefan to psychically doppel-bomb him."
- Luke : "And how is our precious anchor to the Other Side?"
- Liv : "I'm letting her think she's teaching me magic. It's actually sort of cute."
- Grams : "Something's wrong over here, Bonnie."
- Luke : "We think the Travelers are about to make their move. Their leader, Markos, is here."
- Elena : "Perfect. A dead, old guy with a mysterious evil plan. I'll take that drink, now."
- Markos : "I'm the reason Stefan and Elena are being drawn together."
- Enzo : "Break out the popcorn, Blondie."
- Damon : "Don't you dare! Hey, Enzo!"
- Markos : "It's done."
- Damon: "Clock's busted. What am I paying my PTA dues for? I am gonna file a complaint."
- Elena: "Is that why you're here?"
- Damon: "You left me in charge of Jeremy when you went off to Whitmore. I've had this on my calendar for months.
- Elena: "Really? So, no other reason?"
- Damon: "Why? Is there something else you wanna talk about? Oh come on, don't pretend like you're not still tingly from this morning."
- Elena: "Could we just focus on Jeremy, please?"
- Damon: "Right. Okay, well speaking of hypotheticals. If Jeremy was running around with another girl, would you wanna know about it?"
- Elena: "What are you talking about? What girl?"
- Damon: "Bonnie's little witch trainee, Liv. I saw her and Jeremy sharing a top shelf bottle of inhibition-killer at the Grill this morning."
- Elena: "Jeremy wouldn't do that to Bonnie."
- Damon: "Again, need I remind you he once had an affair with a ghost? I mean, the only thing that was missing was a sappy love song and a pottery wheel."
- Tyler: "Breakfast of champions."
- Matt: "Let me guess, this is about Elena?"
- Damon: "You know, that is so incredibly insightful Donovan, you are really street-smart from working behind that bar for-- what is it? Three years now?"
- Tyler: "At least he's not looking for answers at the bottom of a glass."
- Damon: "Tyler Lockwood's now a life coach, despite running his own life into the ground. Perfect."
- Matt: "If you want advice, why don't you just talk to Stefan?"
- Damon: "Because it's difficult to explain to your brother that you just broke up with the former love of his life and then broke the bed."
- Tyler: "Whoa, TMI."
- Damon: "Besides, I've got you two idiots. Mystic Falls' amateur therapists."
- Matt: "I'm only listening to you because I'm getting paid."
- Damon: "Less and less by the second. Anyway, Stefan's not an option, he's off doing some research project with Caroline. Don't worry, wolf-boy, I'm sure they're just friends."