(Caroline has fallen off her bike and is leaning against a tree when Liz walks in)
LIZ: Ok. I've got band-aids, surgical gear, and a medevac enroute for an airlift.
CAROLINE: You're making fun of me.
LIZ: No, sweetheart. I'm making fun of me. There is no greater first than watching your kid ride without training wheels (Liz applies first aid) -- Oh, boy -- and no worst first than seeing them bite the dust. All right. There.
CAROLINE: Am I gonna die?
LIZ: I would say your chances of survival are 100%.
CAROLINE: Are you gonna die?
LIZ: Well, everyone dies eventually, sweetie, but not for a long, long time.
CAROLINE: But what if you die and I'm still here?
LIZ: Well, then you'll be all grown up, and you won't need me.
CAROLINE: I think I'll always need you.
(Caroline and Liz hug)
SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE
(Caroline wakes up on a couch and sees Matt, Elena, Tyler, and Stefan sleeping around her. Caroline walks over to the kitchen where Damon is still trying to write Liz's eulogy.)
(As Caroline opens the door, Damon rips a sheet of paper from a notebook and crumples it)
CAROLINE: Sorry. Just, um, water.
DAMON: Help yourself.
CAROLINE: (Walks over to the sink) So what are you not writing?
DAMON: You believe your mother entrusted me to eulogize her?
CAROLINE: That's... nice, I guess. (she fills a glass with tap water)
DAMON: I think she's trying to teach me a lesson about my own mom. Was supposed to do the eulogy at her funeral, and I just-
CAROLINE: We don't have to share.
CAROLINE: I just mean today is pretty much gonna be the worst day of my life. I'm not sure that I need to start it off by bonding with you. No offense.
DAMON: None taken.
CAROLINE: Great. Thanks for the water. (Starts to walk out of the kitchen)
DAMON: Hey, blondie. Today isn't the worst day of your life. Today and tomorrow, it's a cakewalk. And there will be people day in and day out like they're afraid to leave you alone. The worst day? That's next week when there's nothing but quiet. Just a heads-up.
CAROLINE: Appreciate the tip. (Walk out)
DAMON: Sure. Anytime.
TITLE CARD AND OPENING CREDITS
(Caroline is writing a to-do list for Liz's funeral)
CAROLINE: (voiceover) You've all asked what you can do to help.
(Cut to Caroline talking to Elena, Matt, Tyler and Stefan in the living room)
CAROLINE: There are five day's worth of projects on here. We are going to do them in one. We can break the rules and cut through the red tape. I expect my mom to be properly celebrated and buried by the end of the day.
MATT: Sure, Care. Whatever you need.
(Tyler and Stefan nod)
CAROLINE: Elena, you're coming with me.
ELENA: Where are we going?
CAROLINE: Casket shopping. Let's move!
SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE FRONT PORCH
(Caroline and Elena walk through the front door)
ELENA: You drive. I sent my car to Jeremy.
CAROLINE: Jeremy! I forgot to put him on my list of people to call.
ELENA: It's okay. I called him.
(Overlay of 1994 prison world, Bonnie walks up to the front door)
1994 PRISON WORLD: SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE
(Bonnie is filming on the camera)
BONNIE: It's day 278 inside this stupid prison world. I have two broken toes, nine blisters, and an ear infection, but I don't care. I have phesmatosed the crap out of this magic Canadian rock, and I have my magic again. (Getting a drink of bourbon) And when that eclipse hits 12:28, I'm going home. You hear that, me? Home. (Drinks)
(Jo is throwing up into the toilet and Alaric is standing just outside of the bathroom)
ALARIC: Uh, you sure you don't want me to hold your hair back or something?
JO: Stay away from me. This is gross. We haven't been dating long enough for you to see gross.
ALARIC: I have guilt. The vegan dish I made fun of did you in.
JO: I'm dying. Stupid Thai food. Never again. (Throws up)
ALARIC: You know, maybe would just skip the funeral.
JO: We're going.
(The doorbell rings. Alaric opens the front door and sees Kai, who doesn't look too good.)
KAI: Hey. (Alaric tries to shut the door) Wait, wait, wait, wait. (Alaric opens the door) Look. I know you hate me, but I really... really need to see my sister.
ALARIC: I think she'll pass.
(Alaric tries to shut the door again, but when Jo appears at the door, he leaves it open)
JO: What are you doing here?
(Alaric opens the door)
KAI: I called to tell you I was sick, and you--you hung up on me.
JO: Because I have food poisoning. Did the sound of me vomiting on the other end of line not clue you in?
KAI: Look. There's an issue I've been worried about since the merge because we really didn't do it right. You know, the whole , "You're not my twin" "Hey. That's okay. Close enough" plan? It worked, which is, you know, cool. Hey, I'm even a little bit nice now in case you were wondering. But I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop. And, well, I think it's dropped because I'm-- Where's the bathroom? (Kai starts vomiting blood)
JO: Oh, God! Ric!
ALARIC: (Gives Kai something to vomit into) Here.
(Alaric and Jo look concerned)
KAI: I don't think you have food poisoning. I was supposed to merge my magic with you. But I got Luke's instead. Ohh. Now I'm defective, and I think that's why you're sick. I kind of feel like I'm dying, actually. And if I die, so do you, dad, Liv, and the rest of our dumb coven. So could you please fix me, like, now?
SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE
(Damon is putting on a tie for the funeral.)
FLASHBACK: 1858, SALVATORE ESTATE
(Young Stefan is putting on a tie for his mother's funeral. Damon walks in.)
DAMON: What are you doing?
STEFAN: Borrowing one of father's ties for the funeral.
DAMON: He will skin you alive. Take mine. (Takes off his tie and kneels down to put it on Stefan) Okay.
STEFAN: Did you finish the speech?
DAMON: Not quite.
STEFAN: It's an important speech.
DAMON: I will finish it, Stefan.
STEFAN: Father said we're not to cry.
DAMON: That is because father is incapable of human emotion. You are ten. You can cry if you feel like it.
STEFAN: (Shakes his head) I don't think I will.
DAMON: Why's that?
STEFAN: Because mother's angel told me everything would be alright.
DAMON: When was this?
STEFAN: Last night in my sleep. She visited me. Did she visit you?
DAMON: I must have missed it. There. Be on your way. (Pats Stefan on the head, who leaves the room.
SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE: PRESENT DAY
(Stefan is standing behind Damon.)
STEFAN: Well, I see the eulogy is coming along swimmingly.
DAMON: It's percolating.
STEFAN: Listen. I need your advice, and I need you to not be a dick about it because I have no one else to ask.
DAMON: Oh, this sounds promising.
STEFAN: What did I just say? (Damon gestures for Stefan to continue) All right, look. Something happened between Caroline and me.
DAMON: Ooh! Finally!
STEFAN: And then her mom died, and I haven't had a chance to talk to her about it, and I don't know the best way to handle it.
DAMON: Oh. Pull the ripcord.
DAMON: Well, she's not the one. If she was, you wouldn't have to ask.
STEFAN: Yeah, but I didn't even-
DAMON: You've been in love twice in your life, Stefan. Setting aside that it was technically the same face, does this feel like that? (Stefan doesn't answer) Not all love is true love, brother. Caroline wants the real deal, and if you don't, pull the ripcord before you make things worse. Just not today. Let her have today.
(Damon leaves the room)
OUTSIDE ARCHER AND SON'S FUNERAL HOME
MS. MCGRUDER: Your mother was such a vibrant woman. Even after your father ran off with that man.
ELENA: (rushes in) Thank you, Ms. McGruder. I'm sure we'll see you at the funeral. (quickly leads Caroline away.) Well, welcome to the world of awkward sympathies. That's why you have to be prepared with your responses. I recommend at least three.
CAROLINE: I don't know how you survived this.
ELENA: Your responses will be different for each category of people in your life: friends of circumstance, casual acquaintances, loved ones.
CAROLINE: I kissed Stefan. I want to talk to him about it, but if it's bad, I feel like he won't be honest, you know, not today.
ELENA: Then talk to him about it tomorrow. You already have a lot on your plate.
CAROLINE: I think I need to know today. We're behind schedule. Let's go.
(Jo is giving Kai a checkup)
JO: Any joint pain?
JO: Are you pregnant?
KAI: Stop making jokes. I feel like I'm being scrunched from inside out. This is kinda private. Does your baby-boo need to be here?
ALARIC: I'm not leaving her alone with you, so deal with it.
JO: Okay. Your vitals are fine, your temperature is normal. I'll wait on pathology, but there is nothing medically wrong with you.
KAI: Yeah, duh, because I'm magically diseased. You haven't puked in at least--
JO: (Realizes Kai is about to vomit blood) Oh!
(Jo goes to get a trash can for Kai. As he is vomiting, he grabs Jo's arm and absorbs some of her magic.)
ALARIC: Hey, hey! (pulls Kai off of Jo)
KAI: Oh. I feel better.
JO: Yeah because you juice-boxed my magic.
KAI: Yeah, sorry about that. That was an accident, but I-- wow! I legitimately feel better. You need to give me your magic.
KAI: This faux merge is clearly failing because I was supposed to get your magic, right? (Kai gets up toward Jo, but Alaric stands in front of him) Just-- I don't know-- put it in a teddy bear or a bed pan and gimmie. (reaches out his hand)
ALARIC: (Grabs Kai's hand) Listen. I could just as easily break seven little bones with one good squeeze, okay?
KAI: I can see you're skeptical, Ric. Can I call you Ric? Hey, buddy, but here's the thing you need to know is that Jo only survives if I do, okay? And if that's not enough for you, the power that binds the prison worlds comes form the leader of the gemini coven. If I die, the worlds collapse, alright? I see vacancy. Would you like me to start over with single syllables?
ALARIC: Did you say prison worlds, as in more than one?
KAI: Has no one ever mentioned that?
1994 PRISON WORLD: THE CAVE
BONNIE: This is it. I'm ready. There's no one to stop me. I have magic and the ascendant and the eclipse.
(The cave starts to rumble and Bonnie looks up to see a night sky with snow falling.)
BONNIE: No. No!
(Bonnie climbs out of the hole to find the world covered in snow.)
SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE
ELENA: I'm worried about Caroline. I don't think she's handling this as well as she thinks she is. (sees Damon still writing the eulogy) You're not done yet?
DAMON: No, I'm not done, and I will never be done. I am not a nice person and should not have to stand in front of the whole town and pretend to be a nice person. This is Liz having a last laugh from the great beyond.
ELENA: Hey. Easy. You are nice... ish.
DAMON: Not helping.
ELENA: This isn't about you, Damon. This isn't even about Liz. It's about Caroline and what she needs to hear. Okay? (kisses Damon on the cheek and leaves the room)
FLASHBACK: 1858, MYSTIC FALLS
(Damon, holding a bottle of bourbon, walks up to Stefan, who is at their mother's grave)
STEFAN: You missed your speech.
DAMON: I know.
DAMON: I did not know what to say.
STEFAN: (crying) You could have just said goodbye.
SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE: PRESENT DAY
(Damon starts writing)
JO: I really don't have a choice.
ALARIC: Of course you have a choice. It's your magic to give or not give.
JO: What do you think I should do?
ALARIC: Look, my life is full of martyrs who cave to the bad guy, trying to be heroes, and it never ends well. Somebody inevitably gets hurt or dead, and that somebody could just as easily be you, or Bonnie regardless, no matter what you do. So, if you wanna fight and keep your magic, I will fight with you. And if not, well... I loved you when you weren't a witch, and I'm pretty sure I will still love you regardless.
JO: Pretty sure?
ALARIC: Yeah, at least 92%.
(Alaric kisses Jo's forehead and they hug)
MYSTIC FALLS CHURCH
(Many people are walking for the funeral while Caroline is inside looking at Liz's dead body and Stefan walks in)
STEFAN: Caroline? Doing alright?
CAROLINE: Yeah. Fine. All things... considered.
STEFAN: (walks over) Sure you're doing okay?
CAROLINE: Mm-hmm. Yeah. No. I don't know. Just now, I was supposed to put you into a category so I would know what to say to you, but then I realized I didn't know what category you would want to be put in. So, uh, I was thinking, "I guess there's no time like the horribly inappropriate present to get to the bottom of that." (pause) I could list the categories if you like.
STEFAN: Caroline, I, um... I-I want to talk to you about all this. I do, but, maybe when we're alone and you've had a chance to get through the day.
CAROLINE: Yeah. God, of course. Um, this is not the time. I'm so sorry.
STEFAN: Hey, hey. (hugs Caroline) Don't be sorry. (lets her go) We'll talk when all this is over. (leaves the room)
(Caroline adjusts her mom's badge and starts crying. Elena walks in.)
ELENA: Care. They're ready. Do you need a minute?
CAROLINE: No, I'm okay. (looks at her mom's body) I'm gonna be alright, mom. I promise. Everything will be fine after today. (looks up) I'm ready.
UNKNOWN PRISON WORLD
BONNIE: Okay. Clearly, I've been dropped into a snowy tundra hell dimension. Either that or I finally had a psychotic break.
(A green light shines over the world. Bonnie looks up to see the Aurora Borealis)
(Bonnie makes her way to a house in the distance and enters it)
(Several candles in the house light up. Bonnie walks over to the table, where she finds a journal stating that the Northern Lights are a recurring celestial event like the eclipse in the 1994 Prison World. She also finds that she is a prison world of November 1, 1903.)
OUTSIDE MYSTIC FALLS CHURCH
(Matt is standing outside and Tyler shows up)
MATT: There you are. You're late.
TYLER: (putting on his jacket) Yeah. Liv used to say she hated all my ties, so I had to find a new one. (slips down the stairs)
MATT: Are you drunk?
TYLER: That depends. How many days in a row can someone drink before they're just normal?
(Tyler tries to enter the church but Matt stops him.)
MATT: You're not going in there.
TYLER: Back off, man. It's Caroline's mom. I'm not missing her funeral.
(Tyler tries to enter again, but Matt stops him, causing him to slip and fall.)
MATT: I'm sorry about you and LIv. I know you've been going through a lot of crap, but Caroline does not deserve you bringing it here.
(Matt walks inside the church.)
INSIDE THE CHURCH
PASTOR: We are here today to pay our tribute and our respect to a pillar of our community, our sister, our protector, Sheriff Elizabeth Forbes. We are also here today to show our love and support for Liz's family and friends.
(The pastor's words fade as Elena reaches out to Caroline's hand. Police force members walk up to honor Sheriff Forbes. They place an American flag over her casket.)
OFFICER: Calling Sheriff Forbes. This is the last call for Sheriff Forbes. (Matt leans forward as if getting an idea) No response. Radio Number 2-6 is out of service after twelve years and four months of police service. Gone, but never forgotten. Center!
(The officers return to their seats and Damon walks up for the eulogy.)
DAMON: Liz Forbes was my friend. In her last moments, she asked me to pass along a message to her daughter, but I cut her off before she could say too much. I told her she could tell Caroline herself, but she didn't get that chance. Your mom wanted you to know how proud of you she was, and she should be. You're a beautiful, strong woman, a generous friend, and a bright light in a sea of dark. She said you were extraordinary, and you are, and so was she. Liz was a hero to this town. She was a hero to all of you. And she was a hero to me. Goodbye, Sheriff. You will be missed.
(Damon returns to his seat and Caroline walks up.)
CAROLINE: Thank you all for coming. This is for my mom. ♪Go in peace. Go in kindness. Go in love. Go in faith. Leave the day. The day behind us. The day is done. Go in grace. Let us go into the dark. Not afraid. Not alone. Let us hope by some good pleasure. Safely to. Arrive at home.♪
TYLER: I'm sober. Don't ask me to leave.
MATT: I'm not. I'm glad you pulled it together. The thing is, Ty, I get it, alright? We've all been through so much that it's bound to make us a little crazy. But I was thinking, you know, watching the way all those cops honored her today, I want to be a part of something like that. So I talked to one of the deputies, and he gave me an application. There's this, uh, officer training program. Seems pretty cool, you know, like something I'm supposed to be a part of. I got one for you too.
(At the front of the grill, Caroline gets ready to leave.)
ELENA: Hey, are you leaving?
CAROLINE: Yeah. I think I've done the whole funeral thing enough for one day.
ELENA: I'll walk you home.
CAROLINE: No, it's two blocks. I'll be fine, Elena.
ELENA: I just don't think it's a good idea for you to be alone tonight, you know?
CAROLINE: I think that's exactly what I need actually. (hugs Elena) Thank you for everything you did today, Elena. I'll never forget it.
ELENA: You're welcome. But-
CAROLINE: I'll be fine, Elena. Okay? I just had to get through today.
(Caroline leaves and Elena looks as if something has dawned onto her.)
1903 PRISON WORLD: UNKNOWN HOUSE
(At a table inside the house, Bonnie finds pictures of Damon and Stefan from 1864, realizing the house is connected to the Salvatores.)
BONNIE: Oh, my God.
JO: Let's do this.
KAI: Ahh. Me, our coven, and the prison worlds thank you.
ALARIC: What exactly is this other prison world?
KAI: A place filled with crappy people like me, I'm sure. (to Jo) Congrats. You're saving their miserable lives from Oblivion. (pinching Jo's cheeks) Oh, don't look so stressed. (Jo shakes him off) You never liked being a witch anyway.
JO: Shut up. (Jo places her hands on Kai's cheeks) Oribos turai manecsitus. Orbiem. Oribos turai-
1903 PRISON WORLD: OLD SALVATORE ESTATE
(The house starts shaking and Bonnie runs out and finds herself back in the woods in the 1994 Prison World. Bonnie sees the eclipse and checks her watch; it is nearly 12:28.)
BONNIE: Oh, God. (runs for the hole)
JO: Oribos turai manecsitus. Orbiem
1994 PRISON WORLD: THE WOODS
(Bonnie runs through the woods as Jo chants. The prison world is shifting between 1994 and 1903. Bonnie makes it to the hole.)
BONNIE: I can do this. The Northern Lights, the eclipse, they're both recurring events. (checks her watch) I can get out of here. (cuts her hand on the ascendant) Come on, come on. Sangina mearma, ascendarum cavea. Sangina mearma, ascendarum cavea. Sangina mearma, ascendarum cavea. Sangina mearma-
(While Bonnie was chanting, the Northern Lights shift to the eclipse and a woman walked towards Bonnie.)
WOMAN: Who are you?
BONNIE: Who are you?
(Bonnie returns to the real world.)
(Jo has just finished giving Kai her magic.)
JO: It's done.
KAI: Ahh. Thank you. And congratulations.
(Jo looks confused so Kai whispers into her ear.)
KAI: Have a good life, Sissie.
ALARIC: What'd he say?
JO: The reason I was sick, it wasn't food poisoning.
ALARIC: What was it?
JO: He said that I'm pregnant. I don't know what to say. I don't hmm-- I don't know what to do with that.
ALARIC: Marry me.
JO: What?! No, no. That's a pity proposal. You can't throw a pity proposal at a pregnant ex-witch. I don't even know if I want kids, let alone get married. (Alaric takes a ring box out of his pocket) Oh, my God. What are you doing?
ALARIC: I bought this the day after your brother died. Caroline's mother was sick and you were in danger. And I just thought life's too short. And I've been trying to plan for the right moment, which was supposed to be this morning with breakfast in bed, you know, until you started puking up last night's dinner.
ALARIC: We can talk about choices and all that. We can. But I would really love to have this baby with you. That's, uh, something I never thought I'd have. So this isn't a pity proposal, Jo. I love you. (Alaric kneels down and opens the box to reveal a diamond ring.) Marry me.
JO: (sits down) I can't believe this. Are you sure?
ALARIC: At least 92%.
JO: Yes. Yes. Yes. (Alaric and Jo smile and hug.)
(Damon is finishing a drink at the bar and Stefan walks up to talk to him)
STEFAN: Nice speech.
STEFAN: What broke through the writer's block?
DAMON: I just needed to be reminded that the goodbye wasn't about me. I failed you by not doing the eulogy at our mother's funeral. (Stefan gives Damon a surprised look.) I didn't want to fail anyone today.
STEFAN: I think you were wrong about Caroline. I realized that I may not be able to explain what I feel for her, but it is something. And yeah, maybe all love isn't true love in the messed up way that you and I have experienced it but, I think this could turn into something even better.
DAMON: Well then, brother, stop wasting your time sitting here with me. I think she could use a piece of news like that today.
(Stefan heads over to Caroline's house.)
(Caroline walks through the door and places the flag on a table. She takes her mom's sweater and puts it to her nose and puts it down. Caroline notices Elena is behind her.)
CAROLINE: I said I was fine, Elena.
ELENA: I don't believe you. (Caroline turns around.) All day, something has been bugging me. You wanted to pack this all in so quickly like you had somewhere you needed to be. I mean, you were so concerned with getting through today without a hint of how you'd feel tomorrow. And then I realized. You don't want to feel tomorrow. That's the plan, right? You're not going to feel tomorrow because you're going it turn it all off.
CAROLINE: I thought I could get through the rough patch and just pick myself up after like I usually do, but then Damon made me realize it's just going to get worse.
ELENA: You listened to Damon?
CAROLINE: I can't do worse, Elena, okay? I didn't even think there was a worse. It's better this way.
ELENA: Better? Care, you're talking about flipping the humanity switch. There's nothing better about that.
CAROLINE: That is your experience, okay? I have more control over my vampire side than you ever did. My experience will be different.
ELENA: It's not gonna be different, Care. It's gonna be deadly. You saw what happened to me when I did it.
CAROLINE: Yeah, that's my point, Elena. You did it. You couldn't handle the pain when your brother died, so you turned it off. Damon died, and you erased all your memories. Stefan moved to Savannah and became an auto mechanic. What, do you think that you guys are the only ones who get to escape grief?
ELENA: You just mentioned two of the biggest mistakes that I ever made.
CAROLINE: Were they mistakes? Because when you came out the other end, the worst part of the pain was gone, and that's what I need. I just need the pain to be gone.
ELENA: And if Stefan had said the right thing earlier, would that have changed your mind? (Caroline looks shocked.) Yeah. I heard.
CAROLINE: Well, he didn't, so it really doesn't matter. (starts to cry) My mom is dead, Elena. I-It hurts so bad, I can't breathe. I can't-I can't do worse. I can't, okay? I shouldn't have to.
ELENA: No one should have to. It's not fair. It's not. I get it. I do. (Elena hugs Caroline.) And I know you think that you have it all figured out, but please listen to me. I'm not gonna let you do this.
(Caroline breaks Elena's neck.)
CAROLINE: (emotionless) That's not your choice to make.
SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE
DAMON: (leaving a voicemail) Where'd you go, Elena? Call me back.
(Damon walks into the kitchen and sees pancakes on the table. He looks up and sees Bonnie.)
BONNIE: One and only.
(Damon opens his arms and Bonnie jumps in for a hug.)
DAMON: Oh, you made it!
(Stefan walks in.)
STEFAN: Caroline? Sorry to barge in. Door was unlocked. (He walks in and finds Elena's unconscious body. Stefan runs over to her in shock, he looks around for Caroline.) Caroline! Caroline!
SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE
(Damon is looking at the picture Bonnie brought back from the 1903 prison world.)
DAMON: I don't get it. So you were in my house in a 1903 prison world.
BONNIE: (takes out the video camera) Watch this. I didn't know it was still on when I got pulled out.
DAMON: Congratulations. You shot some walls.
BONNIE: Just wait.
WOMAN: (on camera) Who are you?
BONNIE: (on camera) Who are you?
DAMON: Who is this?
BONNIE: There. Stop. (pauses to get a clear view of the woman)
DAMON: Oh, my God.
DAMON: That's my mother.