WHITMORE COLLEGE / WHITMORE MEDICAL CENTER / SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE
[It's night time, and Alaric is at his desk in his dark classroom, working on school work, when he suddenly gets a phone call. It's Jo, who is walking down the hall of the hospital in her scrubs and lab coat]
- ALARIC: [smiles] Don't tell me-- you've bailed on your shift, and you're headed here to help me grade papers?
- JO: [laughs] Aw, you know me so well! Except for the part where I would rather be covered in Mrs. Robinson's intestinal bile than grading term papers.
- ALARIC: So, I'll take that as a no?
- JO: I just realized that tonight is my last shift as a single woman. I can't wait to marry you.
- ALARIC: [grins] And I am counting the days.
- JO: Me, too.
[They both smile happily as they hang up their phones, and Alaric gets back to his work. After a moment, he hears a creaking noise out in the hall as a dark figure rushes past the door, which immediately unnerves him. He walks out the door to investigate, but doesn't see anything. He sighs and is about to go back into his classroom when someone suddenly throws a black hood over his head and captures him, and Alaric groans in surprise and struggles to break free, to no avail]
[At Whitmore Medical Center, Jo is skimming a chart as she walks out of a patient's room, but is stopped by a man in a police uniform]
- OFFICER BAKER: Dr. Loughlin?
- JO: [confused] Yes?
- OFFICER BAKER: I'm Officer Baker. Is there somewhere private we can speak?
- JO: ...Sure.
[The two walk into an empty hospital room nearby, and Jo looks at the officer in concern]
- JO: What's this about?
- OFFICER BAKER: I'm here regarding Professor Saltzman. I understand you two are engaged to be married?
- JO: [concerned] Is something wrong?
[Officer Baker reaches for his night stick on his belt and takes it out as he hits a button on it that makes it light up before setting it on a patient table]
- OFFICER BAKER: Nope!
[Jo looks confused and watches as Officer Baker starts to smile]
- OFFICER BAKER: Everything is just right.
[Suddenly, "Ladies Night" starts to play, and Officer Baker rips open his shirt and starts to gyrate his hips, revealing that he's not a police officer-- he's a stripper]
- JO: [alarmed] Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wow!
[Baker strips down to his red speedo and continues to dance provocatively as Bonnie and Elena burst into the room and scream]
- ELENA & BONNIE: SURPRISE!
- JO: Oh! Oh, my God. No. I don't think so! [She watches the girls and starts to laugh] No, no, no, this can't be happening.
[Elena and Bonnie start dancing around with the stripper, who looks very amused, while they throw confetti everywhere. They then sit Jo down on a chair and put a "Bachelorette" tiara on her and throw strings of Mardi Gras beads around her neck. After a moment, Jo starts to get into it, and dances in her seat while the stripper gives her a lap dance]
- ELENA: [yells] Happy bachelorette!
- BONNIE: [chimes in] Happy bachelorette!
[Meanwhile, at the Salvatore Boarding House, Alaric is seated in a chair before the hood is ripped off of his head. He looks around in a daze when the bright lights hit his eyes, and looks incredibly confused]
- ALARIC: What the hell's going on?
[Damon, Stefan, and Matt stand so that their faces are right in front of him, and they shout happily in his face]
- DAMON, STEFAN & MATT: HAPPY BACHELOR PARTY!
[When Alaric realizes what is going on, he starts to laugh happily, and the boys move to reveal that they have thrown a party full of beautiful women and copious amounts of alcohol at the boarding house]
TITLE CARD & OPENING CREDITS
MYSTIC FALLS DINER
[Elena, Bonnie, and Jo have moved to the nearby diner, which is completely empty aside from themselves. They're laughing and chattering together while they eat huge hamburgers and french fries, and Jo seems very thrilled to have this small get-together for her bachelorette party]
- JO: An entire diner to ourselves? Actual heaven.
- ELENA: If Caroline were here, we would be planning a spa day.
- BONNIE: But now, she's MIA.
- JO: Understandable, considering...
- ELENA: So, I figured we'd just stuff our faces.
- JO: [sighs in pleasure as she eats her burger] You're geniuses.
- BONNIE: [giggles] Except... aren't you a vegetarian?
- ELENA: [laughs] Bonnie, don't ruin it!
- BONNIE: I'm just saying, that's not exactly a Garden burger!
- JO: The baby is not okay with the no-meat thing. Besides, it's my party, and I'll eat what I want to! [She takes a big gulp of her milkshake] I do wish this was vodka, though.
- ELENA: Right?
- JO: Hey, I don't want to know what Ric's doing, do I?
- BONNIE: [awkwardly] Probably at the... movies...
- ELENA: Yeah, or mini-golf...?
[Both girls start giggling hysterically, knowing that Jo isn't going to believe their lies]
- JO: [skeptical] Uh-huh. [She sets down her milkshake] I need ketchup!
[She gets up to get her ketchup, and Bonnie scoots into Jo's seat so she can speak to Elena privately]
- BONNIE: So, are we gonna talk about it?
- ELENA: [confused] What?
- BONNIE: Seriously? You're gonna make your best friend have to pry it out of you? [Elena gives her a puzzled look] I know about the cure, Elena.
- ELENA: You do? [She lowers her voice to a whisper] How is it even possible?
- BONNIE: Damon called me last night and he told me everything, including his insane plan to take it with you.
- ELENA: [surprised] Damon called you?
- BONNIE: He needed someone to talk to after you left the conversation without telling him what you were thinking!
- ELENA: [exasperatedly] That's not exactly how it happened...
- BONNIE: And I quote, "She stared at me like I was an alien, and then basically teleported out of the room."
- ELENA: Damon Salvatore stands in front of you and tells you that he wants to become a human again. Wouldn't you freak out? [Bonnie gives her a look] I just... I needed some time to process. I mean, twenty-four hours ago, I didn't even think it was possible to become a human again.
- BONNIE: But you want to be human again.
- ELENA: Yeah! [Bonnie gives her a look] Well, I did. Honestly, it's all just very complicated right now.
[Jo returns with several cups of ketchup in her hand and looks concerned]
- JO: You guys aren't full, are you?
[Elena and Bonnie smile sheepishly]
SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE
[Alaric's bachelor party is raging on downstairs, where Damon and Alaric are standing by the bar and talking]
- ALARIC: [incredulously] What do you mean, you offered to take the cure?!
- DAMON: I just... I was standing there, and it just sort of came out.
- ALARIC: [confused] Okay, so how the hell does that even work?
- DAMON: It's easy-- Elena guzzles it, goes back to her human self, I feed on her, and as long as no one sucks it out of me, then we grow old and die of the common cold.
- ALARIC: Okay, so you screwed up, and now you're freaking out.
- DAMON: [exasperatedly] I didn't screw up!
- ALARIC: Damon, if you take that cure, you can never be a vampire ever again, right? [Damon is speechless] Listen to me-- you're writing checks your ass can't cash, alright? And now, you're getting cold feet.
- DAMON: [rolls his eyes] Are you projecting?
- ALARIC: [sighs] You seriously want to be a human?
- DAMON: I want to be with Elena.
- ALARIC: And what did Stefan say?
- DAMON: [sighs in frustration] Do you honestly want to spend your last night as a single man debating my existential crisis?
- ALARIC: [concerned] Damon, tell me you told your brother of 166 years that you're planning on becoming human.
- DAMON: [shrugs] I will! ...Eventually.
[Alaric sighs, and Damon hands him a glass of bourbon before they clink their glasses together]
- DAMON: Hmmm-- to you.
[The two drink their drinks, but Alaric still seems very concerned by Damon's plan]
[Meanwhile, Matt is in the kitchen, filling up a cup with beer from a keg, when Tyler finally arrives and joins him]
- TYLER: Sorry I'm late.
- MATT: Well, considering the guy who lives here tried to kill us a few days ago, I don't blame you.
- TYLER: [confused] Yeah, but we're here for Ric, right?
- MATT: [shrugs] I'm here for the free booze.
[Matt takes a deep gulp of his beer, and Tyler looks at him with concern]
- TYLER: Whoa-- beer plus pain meds equals another trip to the hospital!
- MATT: You chose now to learn math?
[Just then, Enzo walks into the room, and Matt frowns at the sight of him]
- MATT: Who the hell invited you?
- ENZO: Damon. Never been to a bachelor party before!
[A waitress in a cocktail walks past him with a platter full of multi-colored jello shots, and Enzo plucks a red one off the table as he checks out the girl]
- ENZO: [smirks] I can see the appeal. Where's Stefan?
- MATT: Don't know, don't care.
[Matt leaves the room, and Tyler gives Enzo an angry glare before following behind him. Enzo just shrugs and goes to drink his shot, but since he doesn't know what jello shots are, he becomes incredibly confused when he can't simply drink it. He turns the shot glass upside down and shakes it, causing the jello to wobble, before he frowns and sniffs at it]
[Upstairs, Stefan is in his room, where he's trying to call Caroline. However, it goes straight to voicemail]
- CAROLINE: [in her voicemail message] Hey! It's Caroline, but duh. You knew that, because you called. So, leave a message, and I'll call you back. Bye!
[Stefan smiles before leaving her a message]
- STEFAN: [on the phone] You're so happy in your voicemail. [He pauses for a moment] Speaking of happy, uh, that thumping bass you hear in the background? That's, um, Damon's genius idea to host Ric's bachelor party, despite the fact that our mother apparently lives here now... Who I've been ducking, by the way, in case you haven't noticed. I guess what I'm saying is... call me back. Otherwise, I'm gonna start running out of reasons to avoid everything that is going on in my life right now. Kind of like what you're doing, which is completely understandable, but just really crappy timing for me and my problems. You should be here. Come home.
[Stefan hangs up the phone, and Enzo, who was eavesdropping on him, appears in his doorway]
- ENZO: That was utterly adorable.
[Stefan stands and turns around to see Enzo walk into the room]
- STEFAN: [confused] What are you doing in my bedroom?
- ENZO: Oh, believe me, there are a number of places I'd rather be... Strapped to a gurney, having my spleen cut out, for instance! Unfortunately for me, I'm here because your mother needs your help.
- STEFAN: [more confused] ...My mother?
- ENZO: Apparently, her beloved Ascendant's been destroyed. She's in bad shape. Could use a bit of your time.
- STEFAN: [unnerved] What the hell do you know about my mother?
[Lily is sitting at the bar of the restaurant with a mug of coffee, and she looks anxious and jittery as she nervously taps the fingers of her daylight-ring-clad hand against her arm. A young busboy comes over to clear drinks off the bar, and when he leans over next to him, she can hear his heartbeat pounding loudly. She goes into a daze as she watches his carotid artery throb in his neck and taps her ring against her coffee mug even faster]
[When the boy leaves the restaurant, Lily vamp-speeds behind him and stalks him down the street. After a few moments, her face vamps-out, and she lunges for the busboy until she's quickly blocked by Stefan, who appears out of nowhere. She bares her fangs at him until she realizes it's her son, but briefly ignores him for a moment as she watches the busboy walk away and looks upset to have lost out on her snack. When he gives her a look that indicates he is concerned but not surprised, she looks at him in embarrassment]
- STEFAN: Hello, Mother. I think it's time you and I have a talk.
[After the break, the two have returned inside the Grill, where they're seated at a table. Stefan watches her curiously, but Lily is in denial]
- Lily: This is entirely unnecessary. I was merely getting a breath of fresh air.
[Stefan looks at her skeptically]
- STEFAN: Mmm.
[Lily begins anxiously tapping her fingertips against the table again, and Stefan watches her in concerned amusement for a moment]
- STEFAN: Whatchu got there, junkie tic?
[Lily looks momentarily embarrassed and makes a conscious effort to stop]
- STEFAN: I have the same thing. It's funny how that works, isn't it?
- LILY: [rolls her eyes] What is this, some kind of mother-son bonding experiment?
- STEFAN: [shakes his head] No, no. You made your feelings for me perfectly clear when you had to spin a web of lies to snap my humanity back on.
- LILY: [tensely] I don't know what Enzo told you, but I assure you, I'm fine.
- STEFAN: You know, Enzo told me a lot of things. Including that, after losing all hope of getting your friends back, you went off the deep end last night.
[Lily looks ashamed for a moment, but quickly covers it up and smiles fakely]
- LILY: A momentary lapse.
- STEFAN: [sighs] I mean, I figured since you passed the Ripper gene onto me-- thank you for that, by the way-- we could talk about it.
- LILY: There's nothing to talk about.
[Stefan gives her a skeptical look and sighs]
- STEFAN: You know... [He clears his throat] Personally, when I start feeling like I'm gonna go over the edge, I begin to salivate in the back of my mouth. Does that ever happen to you?
[Lily remains silent, but she's clearly affected by his words]
- STEFAN: And then my veins, they begin to itch uncontrollably, and the hunger consumes me. Every sound, every scent-- the world around me falls apart, and all I can hear is the pulsing of someone's blood, and all I feel is that it belongs to me.
[Lily, who is becoming more and more agitated and overwhelmed by her hunger, and her tapping becomes even more frantic until Stefan smiles patronizingly and places his hand on top of hers to stop her]
- STEFAN: [amused] Heh. But, I guess you don't have that problem, right?
SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE
[Matt is back in the kitchen, where he has found an old bottle of bourbon stashed in the back of a cupboard. He pulls the bottle out and unscrews it before taking a long drag of it. He seems impressed by how good it is and smiles. Tyler enters the room to find Matt chugging the alcohol and becomes more concerned]
- TYLER: Drinking yourself to death? That's your big plan from the future?
- MATT: [shrugs] Just taking a page from your playbook. Oh, sorry-- all the pages. [He takes another swig of bourbon] Ahhhh.
- TYLER: [sighs] How about we get out of here? Come on, I'll drive you home.
[Tyler turns to leave, but Matt doesn't move. Instead, he stops Tyler by calling out to him]
- MATT: How's the deputy training program?
- TYLER: [sighs] Is that why you're being a dick?
- MATT: [shrugs] Part of it. Remember, I'm on injured reserve, so you'll have to fill me in.
- TYLER: [sighs again] Deputy Taylor finally stopped calling me "Cupcake." I guess that's progress.
- MATT: Maybe that's because Deputy Taylor's on medical leave for a week after you kicked his ass in front of the trainees!
- TYLER: Yeah? Well, you know what, he had it coming.
- MATT: [frustrated] What the hell is wrong with you? Are you that capable of not raging out? This program was a chance for you to do something with your life.
- TYLER: No-- that's what it is for you. Because I realized one day, doing this job might mean that I have to shoot someone. To kill them. And I don't ever want to be a werewolf again.
- MATT: It doesn't have to be like that, Ty.
[Matt pauses for a moment before roughly pushing Tyler backwards, which triggers Tyler's aggression]
- MATT: You just need some self-control.
- TYLER: [sighs] Watch yourself, Matt.
[Matt pushes him backwards again]
- MATT: Control it, Ty.
[Tyler loses his temper and punches Matt in the face before shoving him backward into the fridge. Matt's lip is bleeding, and he groans as Tyler holds up his fist and prepares to punch him. After a moment, Tyler lowers his fist and backs away, though he's clearly still furious]
- TYLER: You're not worth it.
[Tyler glares at Matt, who is holding onto his still-injured abdomen, before he walks out of the room]
[Elsewhere in the house, Damon has just answered a phone call from Stefan, who is still at the Grill. Stefan stands over by the bar and keeps an eye on Lily, who is still sitting at their table]
- DAMON: Where are you? And please tell me you're with a stripper.
- STEFAN: [rolls his eyes] Picture that, and then picture the exact opposite. I'm with our mother.
- DAMON: [groans in disgust] Now I don't want to picture anything!
- STEFAN: Did you know that she was the one who turned Enzo?
- DAMON: [scoffs in disbelief] That's mathematically impossible. Enzo turned in 19--
- STEFAN: [cuts him off] --03. Apparently, they were on a boat together back to New York. He was sick, and she took pity on him.
- DAMON: And here we thought she didn't have a maternal bone in her body.
- STEFAN: She also has a bit of a Ripper-thing going on. That little stunt you pulled with the Ascendant put her in a blood tizzy.
- DAMON: [confused] Well, then why is she out and about? Lock her ass up and rejoin the party, brother.
- STEFAN: [sighs] Yeah, I will, if it comes to that. Anything else?
[Damon panics for a moment, thinking that he knows about the cure, but he simply swallows down his fear and replies]
- DAMON: Nope! Just love to Mom. Heh. Kidding.
[He and Stefan hang up the phone just as Enzo appears behind Damon and follows him into the foyer]
- ENZO: See? Now that's what I call a missed opportunity. Perfect time to tell your brother you're hanging up your fangs for a pair of khakis.
- DAMON: [plays dumb] No idea what you're talking about.
- ENZO: Yes, you do. I might have plied Alaric with enough alcohol to slur the news into my ear.
- DAMON: [side-eyes him] Well, you are the last person who gets to criticize me for withholding information, my brother from the same mother. You ever gonna tell me Lily turned you?
- ENZO: Yeah, once you mastered the art of returning phone calls.
- DAMON: [shrugs] I've been busy.
- ENZO: What, with the prospect of taking the cure? No point in agonizing-- you won't go through with it.
- DAMON: [scoffs] Says who?
- ENZO: You! You're selfish, Damon. Being human isn't what you really want. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like that about you. A man should be consistent. But, take it from someone who you left to burn to death in order to save your own skin-- no one changes that much. Not even under the magical influence of Elena Gilbert. [He turns to leave] Anyway, cheers, mate.
MYSTIC FALLS DINER
[Bonnie is dancing around the diner while Elena chooses music on the jukebox. Jo, who is still eating ice cream, is grilling Elena about the cure]
- JO: So, basically, Damon did the vampire-version of a wedding proposal, and you just walked away?
- ELENA: I said I would think about it. [She pauses for a moment] Why are we talking about me? This is your party.
- JO: Trust me, I would much rather talk about that than the fact that I have yet to find a non-hideous wedding gown. Or, that I can't ask my sister to be my maid of honor because she won't return my phone calls. Or, the fact that I cannot stop eating-- literally, like ever. So, big decision. Go.
- BONNIE: I think you should take it. Decision made.
- ELENA: What if I miss the perks, like compelling the owner of a diner to close early for us? Or what if I get sick?
- BONNIE: Or, what if the human-you doesn't love Damon anymore?
[Elena gives Bonnie a pointed look, but Jo just seems confused]
- BONNIE: [shrugs] Someone had to say it!
- JO: That's ridiculous. Being supernatural doesn't change who you are! I should know-- I'm an ex-witch who's about to marry an ex-vampire. Deep down, you know who you are and what you want. Love's always gonna require a huge leap of faith. A big, scary leap over a hot pit of lava. And, you might end up heartbroken, but you might be the happiest person on the face of the earth. Personally? I'm glad I took that leap.
[Their conversation is interrupted when Elena's phone starts to ring. She checks the Caller ID and sees that it's Damon, who is calling from the boarding house]
- ELENA: Speak of the devil.
[Elena leaves the diner and walks down the street while she talks to Damon on the phone. She has a bag of french fries in her hands, which she eats as she talks]
- ELENA: [on the phone] Let me guess-- you got a lap dance, and now you feel guilty.
- DAMON: [laughs] How'd you know?
- ELENA: Very funny! You may have partied us under the table, but at least I'm on a junk food high.
- DAMON: Is that why you're walking around town, eating french fries? [Elena looks surprised that he knows what she's doing] Look up!
[Elena looks up to find that Damon is standing on top of the clock tower in the town square, where Katherine once tried to commit suicide]
- ELENA: [laughs] What are you doing up there?
- DAMON: Oh, I'm just clearing my head. Asked a girl a really big question last night. She just sort of left me hanging.
- ELENA: [smiles] Ick! What a flake.
- DAMON: That's all right. She's probably just doing some soul-searching.
[Elena holds up the bag of french fries and shakes them enticingly]
- ELENA: Want some?
- DAMON: [smirks] You deliver?
[Stefan and Lily are still at their table, where Stefan has ordered them shots of some sort of liquor. Stefan downs his easily, but Lily seems unsure of how to drink it, and when she does swallow it down, she grimaces and shakes her head, which makes Stefan laugh]
- STEFAN: See? Sublimating can be fun!
- LILY: [gives him a look] You're mocking me.
- STEFAN: I am not mocking you. I'm... I'm teaching you how to divert an instinctual impulse into a socially acceptable activity. [Lily doesn't seem convinced] Look, it's either this, or squirrel blood. Unless you're a rabbit person. You ever try to hunt a rabbit? Humbling.
- LILY: [unamused] Imagine cherishing something for 150 years. And then, imagine that being ripped away from you. Believe me, it's devastating. My friends are gone. Let me grieve.
- STEFAN: [sighs] Your grief is attracting a lot of attention, and you're lucky I'm not Damon, because you would be locked in a cell right now.
- LILY: But not you. You feel the need to connect. Or, is this strictly a Ripper-to-Ripper pep-talk?
- STEFAN: [chuckles] Reformed-Ripper... who happens to think this relationship is worth saving.
- LILY: [overwhelmed] No. No. I can't do this.
- STEFAN: You were the only person who was able to flip my humanity back on.
- LILY: Damon fed me a story!
- STEFAN: And it worked! All I'm saying is... maybe deep down, you still feel something for me.
- LILY: [sighs] Stefan, the woman who raised you lived under the hand of a cheating, abusive husband. She was weak, she got old, and died. And then, a new Lily was born-- a powerful Lily who took what she wanted and found a family that embraced her. So, when I look at you, it's... it's not that I don't love you. It's that I'm reminded of that pathetic woman, when all I want to do is forget that she ever existed.
[Stefan surreptitiously pulls a syringe full of vervain out of his pocket while using his free hand to squeeze Lily's comfortingly]
- STEFAN: Well, then let's start over-- clean slate-- and let me help you get through this. We can start something new. You just... You have to trust me.
[Lily senses what he's about to do and her voice goes cold]
- LILY: You never could look me in the eyes when you were telling me a lie.
[She grabs a fork off of the table and stabs Stefan in the hand with it before she vamp-speeds away from the table]
- STEFAN: [groans] Ugh!
[She grabs a nearby patron and viciously feeds on her before dropping her body on the floor and turning to Stefan with blood smeared around her mouth]
- GIRL: Ahhhh!
- LILY: [to Stefan] Sorry about the mess.
[She vamp-speeds out of the restaurant, leaving a shocked and hurt Stefan behind to deal with the chaos as the restaurant's patrons scream in terror]
MYSTIC FALLS CLOCK TOWER
[Elena and Damon are sharing her french fries on top of the clock tower while they talk]
- ELENA: I love it up here.
- DAMON: Soak it in while you can! And, load up on fries, because trans fat is no friend to humans.
- ELENA: [nudges him with her shoulder] Ha!
[She pauses for a moment and looks at him before she speaks]
- ELENA: Did you mean it when you told me you'd take the cure? Or were you just afraid that you were gonna lose me?
- DAMON: Honestly? A little of both.
- ELENA: [sighs] Yeah... well, here's what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that if you do take it, you'll lose something else that you love-- being a vampire. And we're not gonna be happy if you resent me for the rest of our lives.
- DAMON: [smiles] I don't know, I'm pretty sexy when I'm resentful!
- ELENA: [gives him a look] Seriously! Come on, Damon-- are you ready to give all this up?
[Damon stands to his feet and holds out his hand to help Elena up]
- DAMON: To be continued. I want to show you something.
- ELENA: [stands] Where are we going?
- DAMON: Well, down, for starters. Unless you want to wuss out and take the stairs?
[Elena grips Damon's hand tightly in her own and smiles]
- ELENA: You only live once, right?
- DAMON: [smirks] Once or twice.
[Elena and Damon each jump off of the clock tower and land gracefully on their feet]
SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE
[Alaric finds Matt out on the back patio, where he's still drinking straight from the bottle of liquor he stole earlier]
- ALARIC: You know, it's bad form to drink a thousand-dollar bottle of bourbon all by yourself.
[He sits down next to Matt, who hands him the bottle so he can have a drink of it before passing it back]
- MATT: So, you're really doing this, huh? Taking the plunge, starting a family here?
- ALARIC: Yeah, guess that's the plan.
- MATT: Want some drunk advice?
- ALARIC: Sure.
- MATT: [laughs bitterly] I've got thirty stitches in my side. All my friends are killers, except you. You're a human, which means it's a miracle you're still alive. You're a dick if you're okay with bringing a kid into this.
- ALARIC: [concerned] Well, if that's your bachelor toast, it really sucks.
- MATT: [sighs] Leave town. That's my advice. Take your happy fiancée, your unborn baby, and your miracle life, and get out before it's too late.
[Stefan is in the middle of compelling the girl Lily attacked]
- STEFAN: [compels her] You left dinner early because you weren't feeling well. You won't remember anything unusual that happened here tonight. Now, go home.
[The girl turns and leaves the Grill, just as Enzo arrives to check on him]
- ENZO: Ahhh. Broken glassware, the overwhelming scent of fresh blood... I see the family reunion went without a hitch.
- STEFAN: [annoyed] And what the hell took you so long? I had to compel the entire restaurant myself!
- ENZO: I was looking for Damon. Word is that he took off to find Elena.
- STEFAN: Yeah, well, he's not picking up his cell phone right now, which means it's just you and me.
- ENZO: [chuckles] Just you and me. Aww. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Suppose we ought to get used to it.
- STEFAN: [confused] What the hell are you talking about?
- ENZO: Ahh, that's right. You haven't heard. Damon has the cure, and if we're to believe his bluster, he plans on taking it with Elena.
- STEFAN: [laughs in disbelief] Heh. I think I would know if my brother were planning on turning human.
- ENZO: Based on the look of shock on your face, you don't. [Stefan looks horrified when he realizes that Enzo is telling the truth, but before he can say anything, Enzo heads for the door]
- ENZO: Ahh. So, we can either stand here and debate the merits of Damon's word, or we can split up and find your mum before she rips their heads off. Which is it gonna be?
[Stefan looks torn for a moment before following after Enzo]
MYSTIC FALLS DINER
[Jo is loading up a to-go bag with food when Bonnie returns to their table to join her]
- BONNIE: Bad news-- Damon hijacked Elena. So, do you want to take this party somewhere else?
- JO: Yes, to my bed, if I can walk.
[They're just about to leave when suddenly, Lily walks into the diner. Bonnie freezes at the sight of her, knowing that something bad is about to happen, but Jo just seems confused]
- BONNIE: Oh, my God.
- LILY: [calmly] Good evening, Miss Bennett. I was out for a walk, and I saw you through the window, and I thought, "I know her. That young lady ruined my life."
- JO: [alarmed] Who is this?
- BONNIE: Lily Salvatore.
- JO: [to Jo] Be careful-- Bonnie destroyed something very dear to me, and now all I feel is insatiable hunger.
- BONNIE: I didn't do it to spite you, Lily. I did it to keep Kai trapped.
- LILY: Surely there's another way to rescue my friends?
- BONNIE: [sternly]' There is no other way. And, even if I could help, I wouldn't.
[Lily becomes so upset that she lunges for Bonnie, who quickly incapacitates her with a pain infliction spell]
- BONNIE: Now, let it go, and get out.
[Lily looks shocked for a moment before taking a piece of tableware from the booth and throwing it at Bonnie, which embeds itself in her neck. Bonnie falls to the floor and gasps desperately]
- BONNIE: Ungh!
- LILY: Your mistake.
[Lily vamp-speeds toward Jo and puts her in a choke-hold against the wall before vamping-out. She's just about to feed on Jo when Jo desperately shouts at her]
- JO: No, please! I'm pregnant!
[This stops Lily right in her tracks, and she focuses her hearing to confirm this statement. She catches the sound of two distinct fetal heartbeats, and looks almost disgusted by what she was about to do]
- LILY: [whispers] Twins.
- JO: [stunned] What?
- LILY: [overwhelmed] Good luck to you.
[Lily vamp-speeds out of the diner before she can hurt Jo, who takes only a split-second to catch her breath before rushing over to Bonnie to examine her wounds. Bonnie is still gasping desperately and looking scared as Jo kneels at her side]
- JO: Stay calm. I'm gonna help you.
STREETS OF MYSTIC FALLS
[Elena and Damon are walking together while Damon questions her]
- DAMON: What's your favorite thing about being a vampire?
- ELENA: Well, I guess if I had to choose one thing, it would be that I can heal people.
- DAMON: [scoffs] Said no vampire, ever.
- ELENA: Okay. Well, then, enlighten me!
- DAMON: I like all of it. The speed, the feed, everything so heightened... And, eternally looking great in a black leather jacket's not the worst thing. I'm forgetting something, though...
[Suddenly, they appear outside of the Gilbert house, which looks exactly as it did before Elena burned it down]
- DAMON: Hmmm. Oh, I remember! Getting in people's heads is quite a bit of fun, too.
- ELENA: [shocked] My old house!
[Damon and Elena walk up the steps onto the porch]
- DAMON: You won't remember this, but this is the first place I ever kissed you. Another very happy memory Ric scrubbed from your brain.
- ELENA: But, this isn't real. It's a fantasy. You put this in my brain.
- DAMON: Isn't that the point? I mean, as epic as this life is, we'd be giving up so much more if we didn't do this. I've had so much fantasy in my life, Elena. Enough for 100 lifetimes. I'd give it all up for one life with you.
[Damon reaches into his pocket and pulls out the cure before holding it out toward her]
- ELENA: [shocked] You brought it with you.
- DAMON: [chuckles] Well, I wasn't gonna leave it in the soap dish!
- ELENA: [takes the cure from him] I want this, Damon. No matter how much it scares me, I can't pretend that I don't.
- DAMON: I know you do. You've wanted this since the day you became a vampire.
- ELENA: For you, there's no going back.
- DAMON: [smiles] That's never been my style.
- ELENA: And, you're impulsive! And reckless!
- DAMON: And madly in love with you forever! No matter how long that's gonna be. And taking this cure, Elena, won't change that. I'm ready for a little reality if you are.
[Elena breaks the top off of the cure and looks at it with excitement and fear. Damon watches her intensely as her eyes fill with tears]
- ELENA: I love you.
- DAMON: 'Til dead do us part. [He nods at her encouragingly] Bottoms up.
[Elena hesitates for a moment before drinking the cure in one gulp. She gasps when she realizes what she's done, and she smiles as Damon takes the bottle from her. After a moment, she looks almost dizzy, and her eyelids flutter]
- DAMON: How do you feel?
- ELENA: I don't know. I... I kind of feel...
[Suddenly, Elena starts getting a rush of memories in her mind. She flashes back to her and Damon's first summer together, when they went on their first official date as a couple. They're seated at a restaurant, where they're about to order their meal, and both of them accidentally speak at the same time]
- ELENA: It all looks so good--
- DAMON: So, what looks good--
[They both stop talking and giggle nervously]
- DAMON: Sorry. You first!
- ELENA: How about eggplant parmesan?
- DAMON: [chuckles] You're an eggplant girl, huh?
- ELENA: Is that bad? [She looks at him] You don't like eggplant.
- DAMON: [shakes his head and smiles] Love it. Just taking notes. Mental notes.
- ELENA: [laughs] For what? A second date?
- DAMON: I was thinking five-year-anniversary.
[In reality, Elena has just passed out in Damon's arms, and he is worriedly carrying her back to the boarding house]
- DAMON: Hang on! I'm gonna get you home. You're gonna be alright.
[Elena starts to stir, so Damon breathes a sigh of relief and starts to stand her up on her feet]
- DAMON: [relieved] Elena, hey. [Elena opens her eyes and looks him in the eyes] Hey. You scared the crap out of me!
- ELENA: I think I'm... I'm okay.
- DAMON: What happened?
- ELENA: [breathless] We were on our first date.
- DAMON: [confused] What?
[Elena giggles happily before she's overwhelmed by another flash of clips of the memories Alaric compelled away. She sees her first kiss with Damon on the front porch of the Gilbert house, followed by her dance with Damon at the Miss Mystic Falls pageant and her kiss with Damon in Denver]
- ELENA: [gasps] Damon! Damon, I'm getting... I'm getting my memories back. [Damon smiles happily, and she becomes even more excited] Damon, the cure! It undid the compulsion! I...
- DAMON: [shocked] It worked.
- ELENA: Yeah, well, wait...
[Elena takes her bachelorette party pin out of her pocket and uses it to prick her finger. She looks at the wound, but it doesn't heal]
- ELENA: It's not healing. Damon, it's not healing. That means, it's... it worked. It worked!
- DAMON: [nervously] How you feeling about that?
- ELENA: [smiles] I feel... I feel like I want to kiss you.
[They both smile, but before they can kiss, Damon's cell phone starts to ring. He pulls it out of his pocket to check to see who is calling]
- DAMON: Hang on. It's Stefan. [He answers it] Better be good, brother. Elena and I are having a moment.
- STEFAN: [desperately] Damon, do not take that cure.
- DAMON: [confused] What? How do you even know about that?
- STEFAN: Lily got away from me, so it's a really bad time to be a human.
- DAMON: [concerned] What's going on?
- STEFAN: You were right. We've got to lock her up.
- ELENA: [worried] What is he saying? I... I can't hear anymore.
- DAMON: [to Elena] Apparently, Mama Salvatore's...
[Suddenly, Lily comes up behind Damon and snaps his neck before he can say any more]
- LILY: [to Damon's unconscious body] I'm sorry, but I won't be imprisoned again. [She turns to Elena, who looks horrified] I didn't have to turn into this person. I kept her at bay for so long, but my sons? They ruined everything.
- ELENA: [anxiously] They were just trying to help.
- LILY: [angrily] Look at me! They're not helping!
[Lily suddenly notices that Elena's finger is covered in blood]
- LILY: You're bleeding. You took the cure. You're human.
[She looks at Elena hungrily and starts walking toward her, and Elena starts to panic]
- ELENA: You don't want to feed on me.
- LILY: Yes--
- ELENA: [pleadingly] --Please--
- LILY: --Elena, I do.
- ELENA: No. No!
[Just before Lily can bite Elena, she stabs her in the eye with her bachelorette pin long enough for her to run away]
[Elena runs into the Mystic Grill, where she heads straight for the kitchen. However, she's slowed down by her steadily-returning memories, which hit her in such powerful flashes that she's forced to stop and catch her breath. As she runs for safety, she remembers kissing Damon when he was dying of his werewolf bite, followed by the memory of her making out with Damon out in the pouring rain when they went to see the meteor shower. As she gasps and tries to pull herself together, she remembers her birthday, when Damon returned her necklace and helped her put it on, the memory she said was when she knew she loved Damon]
[Elena pushes through the memories and makes it to the kitchen, where she starts moving shelves of plates, silverware, and other cookware in front of the doors to slow Lily down. Unfortunately, it's slower than usual due to her now-human-level strength, and she becomes overwhelmed by her new weakness]
- ELENA: Ugh! Really? Come on!
[Outside, Lily pulls the pin out of her eye, which heals quickly. Meanwhile, Elena is still working on pushing the shelves in front of the doors to buy her some time to hide. She then rushes over to a large vent in the wall, where she works on pulling off the grate so she can crawl inside. She freezes when she hears Lily's voice as she enters the Grill]
- LILY: Elena!
[Elena works to get the grate off of the vent, but she's once again overwhelmed by an oncoming flash of memories from when she and Damon went to Bree's bar in Georgia and took multiple shots at the bar. In the present, Elena focuses herself to calm down and grabs a nearby shelf]
- ELENA: Focus.
[Lily makes her way through the restaurant to the kitchen and listens for any indication of where Elena is. Elena climbs into the vent and pulls the shelf behind her to cover her tracks, and when Lily hears her moving around, she smirks and follows the source of the noise. She uses her vampire strength to push the doors open, knocking over all of the shelves, but once she makes it into the kitchen, Elena is nowhere to be found, leaving Lily furious]
MYSTIC FALLS DINER
[Jo is still at Bonnie's side, where she has propped Bonnie up against her legs and is stabilizing the tableware in her neck]
- JO: [soothingly] It's okay. It's okay. Usually, we don't yank out penetrating objects in the field, but don't worry. [She takes Bonnie's hand in her own] Here. Squeeze my hand if you have trouble breathing.
[Bonnie just looks up at her with wide eyes, and Jo sighs reassuringly]
- JO: No squeeze? [Bonnie shakes her head in confirmation] Good. That's really good. Come on. Up. Up.
[Jo helps Bonnie sit up, and Bonnie starts wheezing as she prepares to speak]
- JO: No, no. Don't. Don't try and talk. I heard what she said. Twins. Which means I'm number one on Kai's "Most Wanted" list. Congratulations, you have been bumped to number two. So, thank you for destroying that stupid Ascendant. And, I hope you meant what you said, that there's no way to get out of that prison world.
- BONNIE: [rasps] I promise. He's not getting out.
- JO: [sighs in relief] Worst bachelorette party ever, right? Let's get to the hospital, okay?
[Stefan has just caught up with Damon, who is still laying unconscious on the ground outside of the restaurant, while he talks to Elena on the phone]
- ELENA: [on the phone] I got to the tunnels. She came through the Grill. She might still be there.
- STEFAN: We're right outside, so get home. We'll deal with her.
[Stefan and Elena hang up their phones. Stefan then walks over to Damon, who has just awakened after healing and is rolling out his stiff neck]
- STEFAN: Elena's safe. Get up. We need to find Lily.
- DAMON: [groans and stands up] Yeah, I'm fine, thanks for asking. Ugh.
- STEFAN: [unimpressed] So, were you gonna tell me, or was it just... easier to be your normal, dickish self?
- DAMON: What do you think?
- STEFAN: I think being a human is the last thing you want.
- DAMON: I want to be with Elena, Stefan.
- STEFAN: Do you have any idea what it feels like for me to have to hear it from Enzo? To have no say as to whether I lose my brother or not?
- DAMON: Ugh, of course I know what it feels like. Why do you think I didn't tell you? Can we go find our mother?
[Stefan walks inside of the Grill, where he finds Lily sobbing desperately inside. He looks at her sadly, and Lily appears to be both embarrassed and exhausted]
- LILY: Look what you've done to your mother. I'm a mess.
- STEFAN: In a few days, or months, or years, you'll feel different.
- LILY: What does it matter if I'm alone, terrified of falling off of the edge? [Stefan just looks at her silently] I suppose I'd be like you, wouldn't I? Sad and alone.
[Lily, overwhelmed by all of her various feelings, breaks a piece of wood off of the wall and points it at herself, preparing to stake herself to death. Stefan begins to panic and slowly takes a step toward her]
- STEFAN: No! No, no, no, no. You don't want to do that. Please don't do that. [Lily doesn't move, and continues pointing the stake at herself] Stay alive for us, your sons. The one who I know that, deep down inside you, you still care about. And who still care about you.
- LILY: [shocked] You're looking into my eyes. You always had such pretty eyes.
[For a moment, it looks as though she's about to consider Stefan's offer, but instead, she vamp-speeds toward him and tries to stake him, and Stefan gasps in surprise as he struggles to hold her back. Fortunately, Damon comes up behind her just in time and injects her in the neck with vervain. Lily passes out in his arms, and Damon and Stefan give each other exhausted looks]
- DAMON: You okay?
[Stefan remains silent, clearly overwhelmed by the night's events]
MYSTIC FALLS HOSPITAL
[Alaric has just arrived to the hospital, where Jo has just walked into the hospital. When she sees him, she starts running toward him\
- ALARIC: Hey! [He notices the blood on his sweater and becomes worried] Oh, my God!
[Jo hugs him]
- JO: It's okay! It's not my blood. It's okay.
[After a moment, they pull apart]
- ALARIC: How... how's Bonnie?
- JO: She's fine. Damon gave her some of his blood.
- ALARIC: [concerned] What about you? How are... how are you? How's the baby?
[Jo pulls a sonogram out of her pocket and shows it to him, revealing two fetuses in her womb]
- JO: It's, uh, babies, actually. Turns out, there's two of them cooking in there.
[Alaric is stunned as he looks at the sonogram]
- ALARIC: Twins. Okay. Look, the more the merrier.
[He laughs nervously, but Jo doesn't look as hopeful]
- JO: Even if Kai never escapes that prison, my family's gonna try and take them from us. A new Gemini twin Merge is the only thing that can strip Kai of his power.
- ALARIC: [determined] We won't let them find out.
- JO: How is that possible?
- ALARIC: Because after the wedding, we're gonna disappear. We're gonna go somewhere where your family can't find us.
- JO: Alaric, I can't ask you to give your whole life up for me.
- ALARIC: You, the baby-- babies? You are my life, and all I care about is keeping you safe.
SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE
[Damon returns to the boarding house, where he finds Elena standing in front of the fireplace in the living room]
- DAMON: Good news from the front lines-- Bonnie is okay, Jo is okay, and Lily has been laid down for a long winter's nap.
[Elena seems relieved to hear this news, but is clearly concerned about something]
- DAMON: [worried] Well, you look lost in thought.
- ELENA: I remember everything. Every moment. It's like a million tiny, little pieces of my heart have fallen back into place. I remember the moment that we met, the moment that we fell in love... How much I didn't want to love you, but it was like... it was like, I was being swept up into a current. I-I-I was consumed by it.
- DAMON: That's a good thing, right?
- ELENA: Damon, I remember everything! Every kiss, every conversation.
- DAMON: [clearly nervous] I still don't see how that's bad.
- ELENA: We've already had this conversation, Damon. [Damon gives her a confused look] About the cure, on the island.
- DAMON: [stunned] What? No, that was totally different.
- ELENA: Was it? Because I remember it like it was just yesterday.
FLASHBACK-- Into The Wild
[Elena and Damon are on the island, where they are arguing about their love and the cure]
- ELENA: Take the cure with me. That's how much I know this is real. That's how certain I am that I'm gonna love you ever after this is all over. [Damon looks torn] Take the cure. Be human with me.
- DAMON: [frustrated] You know, I used to miss being human. Now, I can't think of anything more miserable on earth.
[In the present day, Elena and Damon are still standing in the living room]
- ELENA: You walked away from me because you didn't want me to change your mind, because you didn't want this.
- DAMON: Hey! That was a long time ago.
- ELENA: You haven't thought this through.
- DAMON: [frustrated] What?! No!
- ELENA: You're so afraid of losing me that you've convinced yourself that you can endure a human life.
- DAMON: [angrily] Don't tell me what to think!
- ELENA: Okay, fine. What about Stefan? What does he think?
- DAMON: I don't care what Stefan thinks! I've made up my mind. I'm not gonna have him drown me in a fountain of guilt and have me change my mind.
- ELENA: Damon, I love you more than I ever thought was humanly possible. I'm not trying to hurt you, but I can't let you do this.
[Damon looks hurt and angry]
- ELENA: Not before you've let everyone in your life try to talk you out of it, including you.
[Damon jerks away from her, looking unhappy by this reaction, so Elena just squeezes his shoulder gently before she leaves him alone]
[Downstairs in the cellar, Enzo has just come down to the cellar to see Lily, who has just awakened from healing from the vervain]
- LILY: Hello?
- ENZO: Look who's awake.
- LILY: [weakly] Lorenzo, is that you?
- ENZO: Just wanted to make sure you're in good hands.
[Lily walks over to the door's window, and gives Enzo a pleading look]
- LILY: Let me out, so we can speak like civilized people.
[Suddenly, Stefan appears next to Enzo]
- STEFAN: That's not gonna happen. [Enzo and Lily both look at him] I can take it from here.
- ENZO: She's fragile. She should be around someone she trusts.
- STEFAN: [sternly] I said, I can take it from here.
[Enzo sighs and turns to leave]
- ENZO: I'll come visit, Lily. This is a family matter now.
[Once Enzo is gone, Stefan starts to talk to his mother]
- STEFAN: You know, earlier, you asked me what it'd feel like to have something I cherished for 150 years ripped away from me. You're right. I'd be devastated.
- LILY: [angrily] A little late to win me over.
- STEFAN: It's never too late. That's the upside of eternity. You'll be my mother for the next century, and the one after that, and the one after that. And one day, maybe not soon, but one day... You'll see me as your son.
- LILY: Stefan... [Stefan looks at her hopefully, but Lily's voice becomes colder] You have no idea what devastation feels like... but you will. Because I am going to find a way to get my people back, no matter what it takes.
1903 PRISON WORLD
[Kai is whistling "Shine" by Collective Soul under his breath while he prepares a meal in the dining room of the Salvatore Estate. Once he's finished, he walks out onto the front step of the estate and rings a dinner bell and calls out to Lily's Heretic companions]
- KAI: Come and get it!
[The Heretics all start to make their way to the front door and file into the house for dinner while Kai watches them go]
- KAI: Big breakfast for a big day! [Once everyone is inside, Kai smiles widely] It's time we get the hell out of this place.
[He starts laughing hilariously in excitement for whatever it is he's planning]